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Relationship Wake Up Call

 
Author: Alisa Chagnon
 

Have you been in relationships, and you knew that you were not receiving the love that you deserved? Are you in a relationship right now and you know in your heart that the other person is not providing you with the love that you are giving out? Perhaps you feel as if the relationship is not steady, you may even feel that you are the one responsible for any problems regarding your partner showing love to you and you are not sure what to do. Do you wonder if you are paranoid or over-critical, maybe you have been told that you are too emotional or need to much attention? Most probably, you are not. Most likely the other person in the relationship is, sadly, playing a game with your emotions.

It is crucial to our emotional health, that when sending out love to another person, that we are receiving that love back to us. When in a relationship, if this element is not present, it can wreak havoc on our emotional state and present problems at work, our personal life and our relationships with others. Understanding the signs that you are in an unbalanced relationship is the vital key to then guiding you to learning how to deal with this situation.

Let us take into account the elements that should and must be present for a relationship to be strong, steady and healthy. At the top of ones list, should be love, trust, understanding, respect, concern for our well-being, and kindness. Accepting anything less, is settling and will never allow you to obtain a truly loving and healthy relationship. Not acknowledging their behavior will never lead you to a good place.

The other person in the relationship can display a large range of actions and words that prove that they are not giving you what you deserve. When in love with another person, it is sometimes easy to overlook these unpleasant and unneeded qualities. However, if you care about yourself, you will take a moment to see if these apply to you. Accepting and recognizing the treatment you are receiving is the crucial step you must take, to overcome this oppression and have the life that you deserve.

A partner may say that they miss you, but do they go for a day or two and not think to call you? A partner may say that they are very busy and cannot be in contact for a certain amount of time. Do you really believe that in todays world of communication, that one cannot be in contact with another? Even if a person is busy, with work or whatnot, someone who loves you, will find three to five minutes in a 24-hour period to call, instant message or text you, to say, I love you. Does your partner sometimes seem irritated if you call them? A person, who truly cares about you, will take that moment that you call and cherish it. Your call is to contact them, expressing your love and to stay in touch. If faced with a voice that displays dissatisfaction of your contact, do you really think that the other person is showing concern for your feelings?

When the other person in the relationship makes a promise to you, a simple promise of a phone call or a more serious promise that will affect you in a more substantial way, do they not follow through on what they told you? A person who is capable of making you a promise, only to forget it, or not care to complete it, is showing you that they are not trustworthy. Do you think you deserve to be with someone, who is demonstrating to you that they cannot be trusted? When in a loving, serious relationship, it is imperative that you both show each other that trust is solid and strong. A violation of this trust breaks all bonds of being able to take the other persons word for gold.

When you express concern to your partner of the treatment you are receiving, usually in an attempt to hopefully have their conduct stop, do they talk down to you? Do they tell you you are starting problems? Do they dismiss what you are saying and try to turn around your words, and end up making you feel wrong for bringing up the subject? They will play this game. Do you really wish to join this game? When faced with the accusation of mistreating you, they become defensive, and will grasp at any answer they can think of, to mislead you away from the problem.

If any of the above applies to you, it is plain and simple. The other person is proving to you what type of person they are. They are not even trying to hide their faults. They are blatantly showing you who they are. It is almost as if they are shouting from a rooftop, for the whole world to hear, I treat my partner badly and with no respect or caring. Every day that you accept their conduct, you are silently telling this other person that their behavior is acceptable to you. For each day that you choose to agree to this behavior, call this person only to be talked to rudely, stay in a relationship with this person, you are shouting from a rooftop, Treat me badly, it is ok.

Life is short. Being single is not easy. Finding true love can be difficult indeed. Despite these facts, if you are in a situation in which you are being treated unfairly, not receiving the love that you deserve and not being appreciated, it is time to ask yourself a question. Do you care enough about yourself; do you have enough self-respect, to leave an unhealthy relationship? No one has the power to change anyone elses core personality. Given this knowledge, isnt it time to move on and not have someone in your life that is tearing down your inner feelings?

 
 
 

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