Most people have not given much thought to exactly what their boundaries are. You might have also heard them called or know your boundaries as your morals or values in addition to the way you expect to be treated. So, what are your boundaries? Are you completely loyal to them? If your boundaries are just some sort of vague notion that you hold in their head, you might want to take the time to give them a lot more thought. In doing so, you can get absolutely clear in your own mind on what you are and are not comfortable with. Only then can you share your true boundaries with others. If you are not clear to yourself and others what your boundaries are, you are open to inconsistent expression of your boundaries. This can be confusing not only for yourself, but others as well. For example, if you are dating someone who is consistently late for your dates and it bothers you but you dont ever say anything or make a subtle joke about it, you are not being clear on this boundary and certainly havent established it with the other party. If, however, you say something that establishes your boundary on timeliness and your expectations around that, it gives the other person the choice to respect your boundary or not. In turn, you can then choose to not date them anymore if they disrespect your boundary and continue to be late. If you dont establish clear boundaries early in the relationship, you seriously limit your options. This is because you cant go putting your foot down later on without the possibility of looking like you have changed all of a sudden. If you have been dating for a while, it is because they like who you initially portrayed yourself to be and may not like this stranger coming to the surface. If you have trouble expressing your desired boundaries to others, it can actually be an issue with your self-worth and it suggested that you address it right away. Do not ever compromise your boundaries in an effort to not make someone else feel bad. Your boundaries will expressed eventually and you are deceiving yourself and them if you think otherwise. If you cant stand up for yourself and commit to your boundaries, then maybe you should consider not dating anyone until you can. It may be obvious to some and not so much to others that you can express your boundaries without having to be mean about it. You can be very nice and still have your boundaries respected. And, in addition to respecting your own boundaries, make sure you respect the boundaries of others as well. This will open the door to attract someone with whom you can experience a mutual respect of each others boundaries. You will soon discover that the opposite sex will find you much more attractive because you display confidence and charisma when you accept nothing less than the utmost respect of the boundaries you have clearly established. Warmest Regards,
Lisa Stuart Copyright 2006 The Love Attraction Expert |
