I remember my first break up, where I was the one doing the breaking up... it was tough, in fact, it took me a whole year of really figuring out what and how I was going to do it! I was young and the relationship was such that I was very dependant on my partner, and I found it very difficult to leave him. In the end, it got to the point where enough was enough. By nature, I am a very strong person and to have been in a relationship for nearly 4 years where I was submissive had finally worn out its welcome! It took me a week to get things organised. My partner was self employed and I did all his bookwork for him, so I arranged for someone to take over that and also informed his boss that I was going to be leaving him! Possibily not the smartest thing to do, but I was so worried about how he was going to take it, that I wanted to make sure that there was someone that would look out for him... as I still cared about him and didn't want to hurt him. The day came and I had written a letter, because I knew, that at the tender age of 23 I would not be able to utter the words... I got home from work, handed him the letter and waited. We spent the next 2 hours crying and talking and I ended up packing a bag and heading to my parents. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but in the end it was the best. After a few weeks, I began to see just how destructive the relationship had been and how he just was not right for me. Within in 4 months, I had met someone new and was very happy. Is there any right way to break up with someone? I don't believe there is, but there are definitely some wrong ways!! Avoid these when breaking up with someone: 1. Do not break up with someone via a text, it shows you have no respect for that person and that you placed no value on the relationship at all. 2. Do not break up with someone over the phone. This is just about as bad via text! 3. Keep it clean. If the reason you are breaking up is soley because of that person, then the best way to phrase it is to say something along the lines that you have grown and changed and that you just don't feel the same way about that person that you once did. Attacking someone is never an option. 4. Do not break up with someone in front of their family or friends! Can you imagine the embarrasment and humiliation they will feel? This can lead to the person dumped doing drastic things! 5. Do not have an affair while you are still with someone! This is one of the worst ways to break up with someone and it hurts the other person immensely. If you feel the pull to someone else and think you are going to act on it, then is it not fair to end the relationship you are in? Because if you are having feelings for someone else, you are already gone... Breaking up is something that we all face at some point in our lives... there are a few lucky few that never have to experience this emotional rollarcoaster, like my parents! They have been together since they were 19 & 20, and it is a very long, distant memory of any of the break ups they suffered prior to then! In the end, all you can do is look after yourself, be true to you and respect the other person enough to break up with them face to face. Written by Lise Carter |
